i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
