So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
