Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
