where does the pee come out of this thing
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
