i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
