So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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