Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
