there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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