I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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