scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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