Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
