Sry I called you an 8
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
