then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
