hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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