whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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