Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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