So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had sex on a roof
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
