Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
