420 ftw
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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