I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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