nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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