Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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