p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
