I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
do herpes really smell.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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