Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
