i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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