The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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