how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
