when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
where does the pee come out of this thing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
