The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
im holly from the hills drunk
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
