so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
