Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
