do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
