Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i need some magic done to my vagina
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
