i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
People in love make me want to vomit
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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