Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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