I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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