when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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