i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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