Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
