Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
