VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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