so that wasnt chicken after all
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
