Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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