Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
