I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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