Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
