i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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