i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
