Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
