she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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